


What do you mean gone?

by GrimMessenger



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Abuse, Done for a Prompt, M/M, No Beta, Not Canon Compliant, Toxic Relationship, everything that comes with that, implied abusive relationship, past abusive relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:15:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25739413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrimMessenger/pseuds/GrimMessenger
Summary: The Doctor is haunted by The Masters voice even after he’s gone.
Relationships: The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who)
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a prompt I received on tumblr from @startrekkingaroundasgard  
> I edited very little.   
> The prompt was   
> “What do you mean gone?”

The Doctor froze. He stood on the edge of the platform, flames heating up the grate below his feet and eyes fixed on the figure hanging over the unprotected part of the pit.  
He was hanging there, hands red, turning white from the grip on the rope, looking down at the flames beneath him. He looked around, desperation written on his face as he tried to find something, anything, to hang onto. The ruler of the world for over a year hanging over a pit of fire.   
Everyone was looking at the doctor.   
The Master hurt everyone here. The Doctor's eyes scanned over the room to see Martha, her family, Lucy and the people of earth who had suffered so much during this past year.   
Heads were turning and eyes were burrowing into him.   
There was a lever next to him. He could pull it and let it bring a platform for The Master to land on. It was right there. All he had to do was pull it. He just had to move.   
Why couldn’t he move?

The Master followed their eyes to The Doctor. He followed them and he looked The Doctor straight in the eyes and he watched as The Doctor did mental gymnastics to figure out how to help him, and he smirked. The Master smirked and he fell and all The Doctor could do was watch. People were hurrying out of their way to celebrate and The Doctor was stuck staring at the fire that decorated his friend.   
“He’s gone Doctor. It’s over,” Martha said.  
He tore his eyes from the flames licking up at the walls and nodded as he was dragged into the festivities for the night.   
Why didn’t he move?

—  
There was a pull down platform next to The Doctor. He could have pulled it. He could have saved him. He could have grabbed the lever and pulled and watched as The Master fell on that instead and then sauntered by with a taunt in The Doctor's ear before leaving.  
He wouldn’t have stopped him. He couldn’t have. They were the last ones left.   
Why didn’t he save him?   
There was every chance and possibility to and he just stood frozen and watched as the master fell instead.   
The Master was dead and it was because of him.   
He was alone.   
He was the last one left.   
He would never come across someone like him again.   
His best friend died.   
Why was he so relieved? What kind of monster would be relieved that he had killed his family, his species, his planet, and when given the option refused to save his best friend.   
—  
His dreams featured them together. Stolen kisses before class and red grass under their feet. Memories of things he wished he could live again.  
In the days, The Master's voice would follow him. Paired with disappointed looks from memories past. Every step he took was followed by it. Always pointing out what The Doctor needed help with. He was always helping. Taking over Earth was probably another joke he took too seriously. He killed so many people. So many friends and families were gone and in mourning because of what he did. He should feel relieved. But maybe The Doctor was mixing them up. The Master always said he had a nasty habit of doing that. He was always so concerned whenever The Doctor got mad because The Master killed someone.   
“I would never,” he would say.   
The Doctor wanted to believe him. He wouldn’t lie, would he? He said that lying was counterproductive to helping. 

He still apologized. ‘I’m sorry you used the moment. I’m sorry you don’t have a sense of humor. I’m sorry you think I killed those people. I’m sorry you get so confused.’  
The Doctors thoughts were getting mixed up again. Why couldn’t he just keep them straight like The Master did? Why couldn’t he just take a joke or have a sense of humor?   
Some days, when The Master was helping more than usual, The Doctor couldn’t help but laugh at what Martha had said that day.   
“What do you mean gone?”   
Every part of The Master that mattered was still here.


	2. I can say anything but the words keep repeating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is second thing I did for the prompt. Once again, not sure if I like it. Once again, barely edited.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you,” he’d said. 

All the words were coming out at once and he didn’t even know what he was going to say until it rushed out. The ocean in his chest was being emptied by each wave of words that came out. He couldn’t stop repeating it. There were a billion things he wanted to say but all that came out was:  
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”

Every hour of every day since then and he had thought of a billion ways it could have gone down. Things he could have done differently and if he’d done differently then maybe The Master would still be alive.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you,” he said, leaning over his friends body.  
Whispering the words into thin air.  
To the pictures in a scrapbook.

I’m sorry I couldn’t save you and I’m sorry you didn’t want to be saved.   
He was drowning now. Tears of his own making. Memories of his own creation that came back to haunt him and everyday they stabbed the wound in further. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you,” he said again.   
The wound was getting bigger as memories came forth. Fields of red grass and an orange sky. Two suns and the laughter of children running across it. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. _I’msorryIcouldn’tsaveyoui’msorryIcouldn’tsaveyou._

“Doctor he’s gone,” they said.   
What do you mean gone? If he’s gone than why am I feeling so much pain? If he’s gone then why are my hearts still beating and my lungs still breathing and why are there still tears on my cheeks. If he were gone I wouldn’t be here. He left without saying goodbye. 

He wouldn’t have said goodbye anyway. 

What do you mean gone?   
He wasn’t gone. There were times and places and-

What do you mean _gone?_

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not sure if I like how this turned out so I might end up posting a few other ideas I think of for it as chapters.


End file.
